Unfortunately, I was not successful. Communication can make or break our world. Very few people really have good communication skills. Newsflash: Relationships are not a competition. You need to reframe it and think of yourselves as a team.
Work together, not against each other. Work to solve a problem, not to be victorious. How many of your are guilty of staring at your phone when someone is talking to you?
Or typing on your laptop? Or watching TV? But all of us have also been on the other side — when people are not looking at us when we talk. How does that make you feel when it happens? Yeah, not good.
So why not live by the golden rule and give other people the same courtesy that you want to be given? What does it say to someone when you interrupt them? Men tend to do it more as a power move. Ninety percent of the meaning of a message is contained in body language. What about your posture?
All of these send strong messages. As the saying goes , actions speak louder than words.
Did I hear you correctly? Okay, yeah.
Remember 1 — you are a team. Ask people to elaborate. It makes them feel good. Can you relate? R elationships are not a competition. It is a sign of maturity.
No one is right all of the time. It shows that you are the better person because you can be honest. We all have bad behavior from time to time. And we will never agree with everything everyone says.
Build them up. No one is. So why do we expect them to be? Women tend to be guilty of this more so than men. Women use indirect language. But if you really want someone to understand you, you have to speak directly. This is excessively polite language that gives up the power to the other person. Go away! That IS really dumb! Don't judge others. If someone comes to you with a problem, help them work through whatever they're dealing with and suggest options rather than pass judgement.
Accept that they may disagree with you. While they may have sought your advice, they may also disagree with it. Let them choose their own path. Ask open questions.
People will trust you more if they know you're really listening to them. Be an assertive communicator There are three main ways to communicate: Aggressive communication involves speaking in a forceful and hostile manner that alienates others. Passive communication is characterised by not expressing your thoughts, feelings or wishes.
This form of communication can make you feel like others are walking all over you. Assertive communication involves clearly expressing what you think, how you feel and what you want, without demanding that you must have things your way. Arguments that do veer off tend to escalate and grow larger and larger. One party needs to make an effort at that point to try and de-escalate the argument, even if it means walking away from it, literally.
He is a psychologist, author, researcher, and expert in mental health online, and has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues since Grohol has a Master's degree and doctorate in clinical psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Grohol sits on the editorial board of the journal Computers in Human Behavior and is a founding board member of the Society for Participatory Medicine. You can learn more about Dr. John Grohol here. Find help or get online counseling now.
By John M.
Grohol, Psy. Stop and listen. Force yourself to hear. Be open and honest with your partner.
Pay attention to nonverbal signals.